"Where should the groomsmen hold their hands when they are standing at the altar?

This is a decision to be made by the Bride and Groom.  Either together in from of them or on the side, but never, ever in their pockets!

"What buttons do I button on my jacket?"

Well the rule of thumb with the men's jacket is as follows: Starting with the top button - it is Sometimes, Always and Never.  Which ever the groom decides is how the rest of the men should follow suit. 

Get to the Church on Time!

Too often I have heard people tell the Bride, "it is your day" and  "it is all about you" and most commonly said "they can't start without you".  This is true, that the wedding can't start without the bride, but do you want everyone to be upset with you.  Be respectful of others and other peoples time.  Being late on purpose is not a nice thing to do ever.  An organized person will make sure that they allow themselves enough time to "get to the church on time".

Consider ordering an extra boutonniere.

Some florist include an extra boutonniere, if they don't, make sure that you order one. They can break easily. In a pinch I have made a boutonniere by taking a flower from one of the bouquets. The grooms boutonniere can really take a beating with people hugging him.. Consider ordering an extra one for the groom.

Make sure that the person receiving the flowers has a list of what to sign for.

If you are having your flowers delivered somewhere other than where you will be, church, chapel, reception hall, make sure the person receiving them knows what you ordered.  How many bouquets, boutonneres, corsages and other. 

Do not let the guys pin on their own boutonnieres.

It is best if one person can be designated to pin on all of the boutonnieres, that way they will all look the same for the pictures.  The proper way to pin them on is from the back of the lapel, so that the pin does not actually show.

Be respectful of other people's time!

Be on time for appointments and especially for the rehearsal and the actual ceremony.  There is nothing worse than hearing someone tell the Bride, "don't worry if you are late, they can't start without you." That is true, they cannot start without the Bride, but the quality of the ceremony could change as people wait and get irritated and impatient.  It is a respect factor!

How about the Bride and Groom toasting their guests?

I think that is a well deserved gesture and could appropriately be done after the "Best Man's Toast".  Thanking everyone for being there and being part of your special day would be well received I am sure!

Don't be too late on those "Thank You" notes!

Although it is said that you have up to a year to send out your "Thank You" notes, I would suggest doing them as soon as possible.  It is true that a thank you note is appreciated whenever you get it, however, a timely one is much more impressive and really does show appreciation!

Don't forget the Marriage License!

Depending on the State in which you are getting married the requirements will vary.  Please make sure that you research this at least six months prior to the wedding to make sure that you have all of your "I's" dotted and your "T's" crossed.

A Wedding Day Survival Kit is a must!!

Make sure that you put a responsible person in charge of your Wedding Day Survival Kit.  It should be with you at all times on the big day.  Click on Wedding Day Survival Kit for a list of items to include. 

Have someone other than you proofread programs or invitations!

If you are creating your own programs or invitations, please make sure that an outsider looks at them. I had one couple who apparently did not proofread their programs very well and actually had the wrong year on them. I have had so many with spelling errors. Just let another set of eyes look at them before they go to press.

"Here comes the Bride" and her Father and Mother, too?

Depending on the relationship you have with your parents, you may want to consider walking in with both. After all, Mom did raise you too! But if you have been waiting all of your life for this moment with your Dad, by all means do it the traditional way.

Groom consider walking in with your Mother or both parents.

Guys are walking in with their parents more often than not these days. It is a nice gesture to walk in with Mom or both. Of course it all depends on your relationship and what you want, it is just something to consider.

Do you have people in your bridal party that are typically late?

If you do have poeple in your bridal party that are typically late, you are already asking for trouble. If you really feel obligated to include them, I suggest you sit down and talk to them and tell them how important it is to you that they be on time. If this is an option that does not work, then simply tell them that things are earlier then they really are. One person can cause alot of stress when everyone else is waiting for them, so consider wisely, who you ask to be in your bridal party.

Check "Days" not just "Dates"!

I called a florist to find out where the flowers were for a Friday wedding and the florist had the wedding down for Saturday. Needless to say at that point it was too late. If you verify the day along with the date, you should be able to avoid this problem.

Don't take for granted that the seamstress did her job!

I had the mother of a bride arrive with a gown on 3 inches too long. She was concerned about everyone else and never checked to make sure that her dress had been altered.

Photographers please be respectable.

Please make sure that your photographer is aware of any rules or regulations of the church, chapel or otherwise. Make sure he/she knows where they are allowed to stand and set up a tripod. Is flash permitted? Can photos be taken before or after the ceremony? Most importantly, make sure that they know what you want. What kind of pictures are important to you?

Guys check you Flys!!

Guys when trying on your trousers please zip up to make sure the zipper works. I had one poor groom who had to have his fly pinned shut. Can you imagine the wedding night!

Some traditions have lost their meaning over generations.

Some of the traditions that used to be popular in different cultures have lost their meaning over time. Make sure if you decide to implement a tradition that you know why you are doing it and exactly what it means. You may be surprised at some of the meanings.

It is "Your Wedding" not your Mother's!

Don't get caught up in what everyone else wants for "your wedding". It is hard trying to please everyone, so just please yourselves. It may be hard at times, but in the long run it will be worth it. Stay strong and do what the two of you want for your day.

Don't put a child in an uncomfortable position.

If the child is normally a shy child, don't expect them to change for the wedding. Putting them in an uncomfortable position is not a good idea. Include a child in the wedding party that is more outgoing and you will have better luck.

Don't be afraid to be unique, after all it is your wedding day!

Why not do something a little untraditional. Add a little color to the white dress, wear shoes that have a little color. If you have a bit of style that would make "you" more "you" on your day, don't be afraid to use it. It is always fun to give people something to talk about!

Less is more, when is comes to the size of your bridal party.

Keep in mind the larger your bridal party the more money it will cost you in the long run. I suggest keeping the bridal party on the smaller side. If you get too many people involved it seems to take away from the bride and groom, and is also much easier to manage a smaller group of people. I know it can be hard to pick and choose, but there are other jobs you can give the people that you want to be part of the wedding, but not in the bridal party. For instance, they could proclaim a reading, usher guests to their seats, distribute programs, etc.

Wedding party: Please turn off your cell phones!!

Please turn off your cell phones once you are in the church, chapel or wherever the ceremony is taking place. It is advisable to give it to someone to hold for you, so you will not be tempted to check it or text during the ceremony. This is really rude!

Please spit out the GUM!!

Please, everyone in the wedding party make sure that if you are chewing gum you spit it our before going down that aisle. There is nothing worse than a bridesmaid chewing gum at the altar!

Drinking alcohol prior to the nuptials can make them null and void!!

It may be tempting to have a toast or a shot before the actual ceremony. I will tell you, however, that it can make your vows null and void. Making a lifelong decision while intoxicated is not a good idea. Save the celebrating for the reception!!

Another way to remember someone that is loved.

To represent a loved one that could not be with you for the special day, what about having a picture of them in your bouquet? You can find small picture frames at craft stores and have them put in the bouquet.

Remember loved ones that are deceased.

Having a candle lit somewhere on the altar to represent a loved one that has gone before us is a nice gesture.

A blended family idea.

At the end of the service before the Bride and Groom are announced it is a nice idea to have the whole family come together for a family blessing. Some people give a little gift to the kids to let them know that they are important too!

Don't wear crazy hair!

You want to look like "you" on your wedding day or at least an amazing version of you so don't wear you hair totally opposite of how you normally do (example: position of bangs). If you don't feel like you with your do, change it!

Don't overlook the VEIL!

Even though you shouldn't put your veil on until last, it's important to bring it to the salon. The style might be perfect, but could not fit the veil unless you try. Also, let your stylist show you proper placement so you don't have to fuss with it.

Don't over-do your up-do!

Your hair will complete your outfit so make sure it compliments it. If your dress is extravagent keep hair simple, with a simple dress you have more options with hair. To insure the perfect hairstyle have a picture of your dress on hand when getting your hair done!

Do NOT think they know what you mean!

Your hairstylist is not psychic..so avoid hits and misses with your hairstylist by bringing tons of pictures. Then you'll both have a better understanding of what you mean. If possible, make an appointment in advance to test the style. This will make your salon experience much more enjoyable on your day!

Make sure you eat something, especially the Bride and her Bridesmaids.

It is very important that in all of the hussle and bussle that you DO NOT forget to eat. This is usually not a problem with the guys. It is, however, a problem with the girls, most importantly the Bride. Having some crackers and water handy are a good idea.

"The kids will be so cute in the wedding party - NOT"

Really think about how old the kids are that you invite to be in your wedding party. I suggest, no one under 5 years old. I have coordinated over 400 wedding in my career and have found that it just does not work with children under 5. Take my word for it!

"Don't pull that loose thread!!"

Be it on the dress, veil or the tuxedo, when you see a loose thread, do not pull it. The best approach is to cut the thread. Keeping scissors handy on the big day is a must.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

It is you day, but don't ever lose focus on the fact that "the wedding is a day, but the marriage is a lifetime." If at any point the latter part of this statement becomes uncomfortable in any way, then it is always better to postpone the wedding until you know that you are doing the right thing.

Add at least one hour to the designated time at the Salon.

Do not assume that the stylist is running on time. Not everyone will be pleased with their hair dos the first time around so allow extra time for do-overs. If you all go to the same salon, please take at least two cars, this will allow for at least some of the people to move on and not make everyone late.

The tie is not here with the "Tux" and the pants are too long!

Please make sure the men in the wedding party get their tuxedos the day before and MAKE SURE THEY TRY THEM ON and check that everything is there including the cufflinks, cumberbund, tie, vest, suspenders etc. I had one groom walk in with pants 6 inches too long and it was too late for him to do anything about it. I have sewn buttons, pants and hemmed up sleeves on jackets last minute. Don't cause yourself the extra stress.

Who knows how to Bustle the Dress?

Make sure that at least two or three people know how to bustle the dress. If you only have one person who knows how to do it and they could not be present for some unknown reason you need a back up. Mothers are usually pretty busy greeting guests so try to have two of your bridesmaids go with you to the bridal shop to learn how to bustle the dress.

Who has the "RINGS"?

DO NOT tie the rings to the pillow. I have seen rings fly across the church when bored ring bearers start to swing the pillow back and forth. The best advice I can give is to have the Best Man hold on to them, as long as he is responsible.

Careful with " THE DRESS" !!!

I have seen everything from footprints to lipstick on a wedding gown. Brides please make sure that when you apply lipstick that you are protecting your dress. I saw one brides bright red lipstick slip out of her hand and fall down the front of her dress leaving a red smear that would not come out.

Common Mistakes

One common mistake is that dates and locations are not verified with vendors. Please make sure that you call all vendors prior to the wedding day to verify dates/times and locations. Do not take for granted that GPS units are always right. Make sure that your vendors know the location that they are going to. Especially make sure limo drivers have the correct address and a phone number of someone that will be available to take the call the day of the wedding.